University Student's Journey with Social Anxiety and Management Strategies

According to the BBC UK, Mary began experiencing anxiety in social situations during her teenage years, which led to depression and required her to take time away from school. By the time she entered university, she completely avoided group environments. Mary stated that she did not participate in clubs or societies like her peers, noting that she did not form a single friend throughout her entire degree. Mary was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder, a condition that affects up to 12% of individuals at some point in their lives.

Research cited by the BBC UK indicates that over one-fifth of university students encounter some form of social anxiety during their studies, and this has been associated with isolation, poorer relationships, and lower academic performance, according to a study involving the universities of Chichester, Coventry, and University College London.

Mary, who attended the University of Exeter, mentioned that she attempted to join one society upon arrival, but a sudden fear arose when she observed others interacting, leading her to feel she did not belong and subsequently go home. Mary, now 25, described her social anxiety as feeling detached, noting that when speaking with new people, heat would rise in her face and her hands would tingle, making it difficult to form words.

She recounted feeling intense shame after social interactions, believing there was something fundamentally flawed within her. Neil Greening, chair of the Social Anxiety Alliance UK, identified this as a common trait among those with social anxiety, suggesting that many perceive it as a personal failing rather than a recognizable condition that can be treated. Greening clarified that while shyness or anxiety in new situations is common, social anxiety becomes problematic when it prevents people from engaging in activities.

It can be challenging to acknowledge social anxiety in a culture that values extroversion and social assurance. Many individuals attempt to conceal their social anxiety or employ safety behaviors. Signs that someone might have social anxiety include remaining quiet, offering brief responses, using a phone to avoid interaction, consistently staying near others or on the periphery of a group, and limiting conversations to safe topics such as work. Greening also suggested that the increased use of smartphones and remote work may be worsening social anxiety by reducing social interactions and increasing anxiety levels.

Mary has managed her social anxiety more effectively following her postgraduate studies. After finishing her undergraduate degree, she received support from the NHS in the form of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). CBT is described as the leading treatment for social anxiety, as it encourages individuals to alter their behaviors and reframe their thoughts. Prof David Clark, a psychologist at the University of Oxford, advised that individuals can also take self-directed steps to help.

He recommended that the initial step is to cease obsessive self-focus during social events, such as constantly monitoring one's appearance or speech, and instead direct attention outwardly toward the conversation or surroundings. Furthermore, he suggested employing behavioral experiments to test fears, such as asking a question in a meeting, to help dismantle negative thought patterns, which often involve assuming negative outcomes. Clark also advised dropping safety behaviors, like rehearsing sentences or avoiding eye contact, and avoiding post-event rumination.

Mary related that she used to replay events in her mind constantly. She shared that while therapy was beneficial, encouragement from a friend also aided her progress. When she mentioned her poor social skills to avoid joining a friend's gathering, her friend responded by stating she had never thought that about her and that she should not diminish herself. Mary stated she is now actively pushing herself to engage more, noting that while her postgraduate course involves smaller groups, she has also joined an astronomy group, and she is learning to manage the ongoing difficulty.